I felt really shaky when I wrote my first post the other day and after my second I was just having a hard time seeing the connection between them and what my goal is here. (I hope you are not having the same problem.) After I wrote my post yesterday about my dear friend, Kenna, I began to see the connection between my first three posts. Each of them is a piece of the puzzle that became the Creative Jayne.
So, our piece of the puzzle today is my stab at wedding photography.
I have always been interested in the camera. I never had the patience or the interest to learn the ins and outs and gears and guts of them but I loved to use them and had a knack for getting good photos. When I was pregnant with our first boy I had a friend that was panicking about her senior pictures. She was running out of time to get them done so I offered to do them for her. I had a decent camera and loved to take photos, why not? (It was so long ago now that I don’t have them on the computer and am not fond of them enough to hunt them down to share…sorry.) They didn’t turn out half bad in fact I wondered why I couldn’t explore a little more into this new fad of digital photography. I had after all LOVED our wedding photographs…
I had a friend getting married the November after boy 1 came along. They were on a SUPER tight budget and doing everything they could to keep the wedding nearly-free. They had almost everything EXCEPT their photographer. I offered…How bad could it be? I spent long hours researching how to photograph a wedding, photographs to be sure to capture and how to plan for it. I employed my sweet Kenna to photograph with me and we plunged in. (Sorry, I don’t have these ones on the computer any more either…hold tight, I have some photos coming up.)
So, we conquered that wedding and they were pleased with our work, yay! I can’t say that I was super impressed, but I figured it was worth learning at least since I enjoyed it and Kenna and I worked well together. I was officially a photographer.
I soon had another high school friend in a panic about her wedding photographer. She wasn’t hearing back and they had quoted her a number that she was trying to stay within. That seemed fair enough to me. She had heard that I had a wedding under my belt and she was willing to chance it with me. Great! I went ahead and did their engagements with my point and shoot (uho…) and just before the wedding, my husband blessed me by believing in me enough to purchase my very first DSLR!!! I could not have been more in love (with him that is!). Teehee!
So, Kenna and I dove in and did our second wedding together. I also asked another friend to help us out a little; I like to try and make connections and promote others as much as I love doing the work myself. The wedding photos turned out pretty well for my first ever try with a DSLR. Take a look at one for yourself:
Yeah, I was pretty proud of them. It was a sweet little country wedding in a sweet little country church. Perfect for my experience. From there I was booked a few more times, each time improving and each time learning something else about myself, the camera and weddings. I was very blessed to work with Kenna for each of my weddings but a couple of them. Here’s my brother’s engagement and wedding (I did triple duty at their wedding – mom of ring bearer, photographer and bridesmaid…yikes.)
Aren’t they just gorgeous together?! They have a happy little chubby one now, our family is full of healthy boys! Anyways, that was an odd side note…I guess learning things about me…ha!
So, I had four weddings booked for last summer and two for this past summer (2014). My enthusiasm was quickly dying with each one. Not exactly the way a photographer should go…but that was the thing. As much as I referred to myself as a photographer, I never fully believed it. I read a lot of photographer blogs, professionals that had climbed their way up from where I was at and I just didn’t have the same drive, the same passion, the same devotion to it that they did. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it, I love the camera and what it can do and capture but I didn’t FIT. It just wasn’t my calling any more.
About this time last year I felt the calling to step out of photography. I changed all of my business things over to my personal blog, I deleted my website, I got rid of anything that would possibly have people “booking” me. I finished out my last two weddings this summer and it was a huge relief. I feel badly that I just didn’t look forward to them but it just wasn’t my calling any more.
I knew this for a sure fact after my very last one in August. I could not have asked for a more perfect wedding to go out on. It was exactly what I had dreamed of doing. What I wish all of my weddings could have been. It was a stellar closing to a great chapter of my life…
The Real Deal. It was perfect. I love it. I am so thankful to be done with weddings. Am I done with photography completely? No. I was just hired to do some grad portraits and I will continue doing portraits for grads, for fellow bloggers, mamas and churches oh, and these gorgeous girls…
These are the sessions that I love. Low pressure, I can get creative, there isn’t a time constraint, and there isn’t a stress for everything to turn out ABSOLUTELY perfect. We can play together and try different things and just relax together. I will incorporate these kinds of things into my design work. That truly is where my heart lies. While I may have taken a slight side track from primarily designing it’s engrained deep into my roots. A love for it that I will never lose no matter what other bits and pieces I try out through the rest of my little venture.
I am a designer.
I can say this confidently, without wavering. I know that that’s what I am. I apologize to the wedding photographers out there that I encroached on by treading your turf unknowing the depth of it. Thank you for what you do, it’s a lot of work. I appreciate it.
So, that’s that. I tried to be a wedding photographer. I like being a designer. I will never tire of it.
I hope you are enjoying the Creative Jayne puzzle as much as I am. Thanks for sticking around and keeping up with me!
What have you tried your hand at and just decided, “nah, it’s just not for me”? I’d love to hear your stories!