“I do not despise your weakness…weakness stirs up My compassion…Accept yourself in your weariness, knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been.”
I always thought of myself as a “strong person,” I prided myself in being FEARLESS in school. I for sure had some healthy fears – I did NOT want to get into trouble and I did NOT want to disappoint my parents. But beyond that I thought I was completely fearless.
Little did I know how truly fearful I was…You may remember back to this post about me being CRIPPLED by fear…It has not been until recently that I have fully realized my fearfulness…
I have been frozen in one place for a long time and I find myself continuing to dwell in the present on the same issues that have haunted me for the last 6 or so years. Things surface and I push them back down. Things come out and I side-step around them. The last six years have been a stomach flu of bits and pieces coming up but I don’t want to fully let them go. I churn them and churn them and sometimes I can swallow it back down and forget about it for a time then all at once I am attached when a new piece in my current life upsets things underlying all over again.
How do you release this? How do you let the past hurts and scars go and move on with your life when the events and scars have molded you into the person that you are today? God is supposed to be the ultimate craftsman so why have I gone so long allowing myself to fall off of his wheel and avoid his pruning?
I think it’s a matter of acceptance. I have never once accepted the title of “Fearful” and well I should not. “God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 It is one thing to succumb to the title of weak but fear is something that Christ fought against on the cross, he gives us our confidence, our security. We need not fear – I need not fear. Weakness, however, there he can work.
“Accept yourself in your weariness, knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been. Do not compare yourself with others who seem to skip along their life-paths with ease…I have gifted you with fragility, providing opportunities for your spirit to blossom in My Presence. Accept this gift as a sacred treasure: delicate, yet glowing with brilliant light. Rather than struggling to disguise or deny your weakness, allow me to bless you richly through it.” -Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
In my fight to stay “fearless” I would see weakness as a fault. I thought weakness was being afraid and I was so afraid to not be afraid that I became afraid. Does that make any sense at all?
I am coming to embrace my weakness. To rest in it because I know that Christ fills me up. Finding security in him rather than fearlessness is a hard journey. It’s hard to let go of all of my “things” and fully just trust in his arms to never fail me. It’s hard for me to think of myself as being weak but I would rather live weak and resting in the embrace of Jesus for the rest of my life than living fearful and literally shaking with worry (which is another form of fear).
“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” – Romans 8:26
So I will. I will rest in Him that breathed the world into being. I will slowly, day by day release my fears into Him as He holds me in my weakness and I will be fearless. For He has conquered fear. I will not be afraid. I will be weak and in Him I will be strong.
What about you friend? What do you have to cast at his feet today?