i have three boys. let’s start there.
with our first son the stories are minimal. he was the sweetest, mild-mannered, easy going baby EVER. even into toddling. and in all honesty, it’s hard to remember what he was like after his brother came along. besides the new stresses of a new baby we were facing foreclosure and a single income with my husband being gone for weeks at a time to earn a little more doing air drops with the USAFR.
with the second one the stories didn’t begin until after he turned two. he was another sweet, easy going baby. i did begin to notice little antics even when he was just five months old though, i would nurse him and he would suddenly chomp down with his gums, look up at me and giggle…stinker.
he has also seemed to go in spurts. he will be really good for a while and then all of the sudden – BAM – he hits me with a wild one to left field. the first one having to do with poop.
yep. poop. now, i’ve heard a lot of horror stories of kids spreading poop all over the walls, carpet, wherever. nothing prepares you for the day that your own child does it…
my sister in law was over visiting, bennett was gone and parker was supposed to be asleep. in his room. napping.
not such the case.
i don’t remember exactly what it was that he said but i decided i needed to go check on him. i opened the door and gasped. there was poop EVERYWHERE. he had taken his diaper off, pooped into the floor grate, wiped his own butt, put the wipes BACK into the container, cleaned off his hands on the carpet and wall and finished off with more wipes.
his butt was clean but my vacuum will never be the same. oiy.
a few days later that same week, i was doing a trunk show and my husband was at home with the boys. i got a message from him saying “you will not believe what parker did.”
thanks a lot husband. now i can’t wait to get home because my heart is racing and my head is throbbing just thinking of the last little poopsies…
can’t get a hold of him on the way home.
walk in the door and he says come here. we go to parker’s room, open the door and flip on the light. here’s what i saw the next morning:
//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js yep. it was bad. permanent marker all. the. way. around. the. room. i was upset. this is what he looked like:
my instagram photo, i couldn’t find the original.
latest antics of parker happened at target. we were innocently wandering the racks as were other people at target and my kids were entertaining themselves. parker was wandering in and out growling and hiding and bennett was riding under the cart on the bottom rack. elliot was slumping himself in the seat playing with something. i was looking at the softest of reversible sweaters and out of the corner of my eye i see my middle child wander up behind another lady. i didn’t think a whole lot of it until the growl began…it was one of his “big” ones. i was a little mortified and at the same time hysterically laughing inside!
i scolded him letting him know that if he wanted to greet someone he should say hello instead of scaring them. the lady had turned, laughing and trying to talk to the little boy that was plastered, hiding behind my legs. i lifted him and kissed his cheek, laughing i told him again that he should apologize and say hello instead. the lady in good spirits said something about not wanting to get him in trouble as she turned and walked away. i was still laughing all the way through the store and back home while my son, i have never seen him blush before.
we got home and i was helping the boys to get ready for bed that night and looked in the toilet to see the roll of toilet paper had been emptied into the bowl. hm…wonder who did that…
yea. and that mouse chewed pacifier…that’s strange. the paci is almost completely chewed apart where the rubber meets the plastic part and the plastic part has tooth marks ALL over it. i know for a fact that none of the boys did it and the only thing i can chalk it up to is the little furry visitors that have seemed to have taken up residence with us.
had i known when we moved in that we’d be sharing the living quarters i’d have worked out a deal to split rent. instead they chew up my pacifiers and poop on my counter.
as a mom of three boys i have a feeling this poop thing is going to be continued for the rest of my years of motherhood. i probably deserve this: